An Empirical Study of Basque Berets vs MAGA Caps

A new transatlantic study has revealed a striking cognitive divide between Basque beret wearers and Americans in MAGA ballcaps. 

Beret users scored highest in abstract reasoning, literature recall, and the ability to detect irony. Ballcap wearers, meanwhile, excelled in shouting across parking lots and mistaking opinion for research. 

Scientists hypothesize that the beret’s breathable wool stimulates critical thought, whereas the MAGA cap’s synthetic Chinese made fibers trap both heat and ideology. 

The research team stresses these findings are “purely observational”—though none could ignore that one group debates Camus, while the other still argues about climate change.